So I guess you could say I’m fresh off the writing challenge, even thought it’s been almost two weeks since I finished it.
Since I finished the challenge I’ve learned how uncomfortable I am NOT writing. It feels SO wrong, so fucking wrong. Like I’m robbing the world of my gift. I literally feel like a criminal. But it’s because I’m realizing that my writing is good. Really good, even. People enjoy it, and some may even need it at that particular point in time. So it’s necessary.
The end of the challenge has actually been the start of a good summer for me, because I’m feeling really good and I’m focusing on placing my happiness on simpler things. Things like waking up, the sun being out, the birds celebrating the start of another day, small beauties and achievements and just being able to exert more control over my life.
Speaking of which, I quit my job. Finally. I think I panicked over not having a plan more than just quitting itself but I’ve realized that I do know where I want to be at this specific point in time. I’m gonna revel in the lack of structure and see what discipline decides to create. Ironically, I’m a thinker and a strategist, so that’s where I’ve been focusing the majority of my efforts in terms of new employment. I’ve grown to understand that not every job out there is a piece of shit, just every job that I’ve had so far, more or less.
But I’ve spoken to a few people in my corner, as I always do, and they’re supportive. I do get mixed answers from them, because they’re different souls, but I love them all. Out of the heartfelt words they’ve given me, I’ve learned to follow what resonates most with my soul. And I’m still following what I set to be my new year’s resolution, which was to only do things that felt right to me.
It’s still working.
This writing challenge was so many things for me. It was a test of discipline and consistency. It was also a test of focus for me also. I learned a lot about my writing ability, and I learned that it touches people. That’s always a good feeling.
This challenge is also the first one I’ve actually started and completed! Natelege had another writing challenge back in August and I made it a whopping NINE days. So this time around I wanted to prove to myself that I could start and stick to such a challenge.
Before this, I didn’t think I was much of a writer. I thought it was just something I dabbled in and did out of frustration, but I’ve learned much more. I’ve learned that writing is really my God-given gift, and that it’s something that I need to focus on refining and improving. It’s part of me, so it’s something I need to look after and take care of, like any other part of me. It needs to be exercised and kept in shape.
So I’m very grateful for this challenge for being what it was for me and my writing, and I’d like to say a huge thanks to the homie Natelege for putting it together!
I waste my time when I think about where other people are in their lives and compare them to mine. I also waste time on Facebook.
…usually I’ll be on Facebook thinking about where other people are in their lives and comparing them to mine. It’s silly. But it happens. People put up pictures of accomplishments, them traveling, and other aspects of their lives that seem admirable and fun but we tend to forget that’s only half the story.
A marketer that I follow named Naomi Dunford said something interesting about putting your own life up against someone else’s. She elegantly said that you can’t compare your behind-the-scenes footage to someone else’s highlight reel. And she absolutely right.
What you see publicly is usually what people choose to put out. Not many people choose to put what goes on backstage on front street. And even if they do, you still won’t know the true inner workings of their life. You know yours and that’s it. It might even be safe to assume it’s worse than what yours is.
It brings to mind the saying, “If we all threw our problems into a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back!”
I can’t let go of the idea of love. True love, specifically.
The idea that there’s someone out there who will appreciate all my quirks and that I’m not afraid to be quirky around. I can’t let go of that silent, sit in the same room and share tea, and read kind of love. Can’t let go of that.
I think it’s because I’ve dreamt of it so much that I know it’s a possibility for me. Correction, I know that it is a future for me. I’m confident of that. I also think it’s because I’ve had meaningful relationships where I’ve felt that acceptance and love and silent confidence in it.
Confidence in love. It’s a weird feeling in that it’s not flamboyant. It’s not boastful, it’s not loud. It’s just there, and all you know is that you’re sure of it. That’s the idea of love I can’t let go of, because I know it exists. I’ve seen it before and I’ve felt it before.
Wouldn’t mind feeling it again, either.
Reality TV is not something that excites me. I’m more a fan of documentaries and car shows.
Reality TV can be something that lets you into the more hidden aspects of some pretty interesting people’s lives, but the trend that I constantly see is the drone of drama that plagues this type of programming. I’ll admit that it tends to be funny and can be quite suspenseful though, which is probably why following someone living a quiet life makes for a better documentary than television show.
I remember there was even a show about a car repossession business that had some insane and wild ass stories, but what was actually aired was a bunch of actor’s interpretations of what actually went down. The real repossessions weren’t filmed at all. I was almost enjoying that show until I found that out, and it pissed me off. I’m sure the show had good ratings, because it went on for a good while, but I though that it was a bit of a stretch to just do re-enactments of real life situations, for a reality show. Didn’t help me like the genre. It’s okay though, I’ll stick to sitcoms.
I’m good with the Golden Girls and Will & Grace.